.Thank You.

I don't know if anyone comes here anymore but as I lay in bed last night I was thinking of this blog and of all of you who visited, cared, prayed, gave us strength, shared your own tragedies and triumphs and left beautiful heartfelt comments. I miss you all and I wanted to say THANK YOU, for everything. You've no idea how much it's all meant to my family and I through this difficult time.

I will start the RCIA program Monday night, w/ my husband as my sponsor. My sister will be attending as well, w/ my mom as hers. The kids will be taking religion classes at the same time. They started last week. I find it ironic that my father found his faith, after he lost his father and the same thing is happening to me. I feel my father's presence when I'm at the Church. I feel close to him and connected. He would be so proud that we're doing this. I wish I could walk the walk w/ him but I KNOW he knows---I know this b/c before school the other morning, my son asked me if I had a picture of Noah's Ark and I went upstairs and got his Boy's Childhood Bible that my dad gave him on Easter last year---and as I opened it---there was this hand written note, to Carter, from my father, but I couldn't help but think, it was his message, that morning, to me, that he was so thrilled that "those babies were getting religion" (he always would say that to my mom "those babies need religion" but not to me---he didn't preach).




Then out of it, fell this picture---it's my dad holding Carter when he was just days old.





Of course I cried but what a treasure for me to find. I will cherish it always as I have nothing in my father's handwriting.

If you are reading this, it means you're still stopping by, still thinking of us and for that I thank you.

xxoo

Service in My Dad's Hometown

Yesterday we went to my dad's hometown for a memorial service that his mother and sister planned. It was BEAUTIFUL. There was a gathering in the Church Hall afterwards (thank you Kim for all your hard work w/ the food and set-up and clean-up and to everyone else who contributed as well). The Reverend spoke of my Dad as if he'd known him his whole life. We sang "How Great Thou Art" and "On Eagle's Wings" (my Dad loved both of those songs). My Dad's twin sister read a poem, from a book that belonged to her Uncle, that he had left for her.

God's Will for you and Me!

Just to be tender, just to be true,
Just to be glad the whole day through,
Just to be merciful, just to be mild,
Just to be trustful as a child,
Just to be gentle and kind and sweet,
Just to be helpful with willing feet
Just to be cheery when things go wrong,
Just to drive sadness away with song,
Whether the hour is dark or bright,
Just to be loyal to God and right,
Just to believe that God knows best,
Just in his promises ever to rest--
Just to let love be our daily key,
That is God's will for you and me.

~Anonymous

My sister got up and spoke and she did a beautiful job. I wish I had a copy of her words to post here. Perhaps I can get a copy next time I see her. I got up and read "I Wish you Enough"......you might remember it from an earlier post.........it was an e mail I found, that my Dad had sent me a few days before the stroke, that I hadn't read. In lieu of flowers, we asked for donations to go to the youth center, b/c it was so important to my Dad. That said, I wanted to share with you some words from the Deacon at the Church:

Kraig knew all of this. He knew how important scripture was and he read and lived it every day. he reached out to many people of our community of Holy Cross Church. He taught scripture to our children. The parents of an 8th grader told me that when their daughter was in Kraig's group in the 6th grade, his teaching of scripture changed her life. She is only one story of many. Kraig single-handedly ran a middle school youth group in our old youth center. He has laid the foundation for our new youth center, The Underground, that is almost completed. Kraig's legacy will always be there in the Center. (A NOTE: One of the entrance walls to The Underground will be a white wall, like a white board where the kids can write stuff to each other, and erase it later. We will name the wall The White Wall! The wall will include a dragonfly in honor of Kraig!).

If you don't know........my Dad's last name is White. Thus the "White Wall". How cool is that? It makes me so happy to see things happening in his honor and to see that this is part of his legacy! Also, my sister and I will be going through the RCIA program at the Church starting next week. I wish I had walked this walk w/ my father while he was here on Earth but I didn't. I know he will be proud. I intend to stay connected to the the Church, his home away from home, and in doing so......to stay close to him. I hope I can make a difference there someday, the way he did.

.The Service.

My fathers funeral was yesterday. It was a beautiful service and a beautiful day and a wonderful celebration of my fathers life. It was also one of the hardest days of my life.

A few weeks ago I found, online, this story about a dragonfly. I read it and tucked it away. When my father passed, my mother said "I just wish he could give me a sign that he's okay......why can't he do that?" and I instantly thought of the dragonfly story and said "I know why......" and I read it to her. At that moment, I knew I had to include it on the programs for the Church Service. Here is the story....

**double click on image to view larger

After I decided to use that story I was seeing dragonfly's everywhere I turned. Flying around me at the Church the day we made service arrangements, I drove by "Dragonfly Cafe" where there was a big dragonfly on the side of the building and when I came home I saw Delaney's pink bike helmet in the garage that has dragonfly's all over it. I took it as a sign that my father's soul had made it's journey to Heaven and he was letting us know he was okay. Then at the service when Deacon Hawk did the Homily I was touched to hear him use the story and build upon it. At the cemetery, as we gathered around for final prayers and goodbye, a dragonfly came, flitted around, landed and hung out on the flowers atop my father's casket. That dragonfly stayed the entire time we were out there.

The Eulogy I gave my father, it's short but I was asked to keep it 3-5 minutes long by the Catholic Chruch:

If my father were here today, he'd say "look at this beautiful day God has given us" because that's how he started his day, whether it was 20 below or warm and sunny. Today, is the perfect kind of day to celebrate his life. Thank you all for coming.

I remember when my Grandfather passed away and my father was preparing his eulogy. He was so nervous about getting up in front of everyone and wondered if he'd make it through it without breaking down. Today, I completely understand how he was feeling. Like father like daughter with the fear of public speaking.

The fact that you're here means my father has touched your life in some way and I know I don't need to tell you what a wonderful man he was or how much he loved his wife and best friend of 40 years, his children, his grandchildren and the rest of his family, the Red Sox, Sunny days, a walk on the causeway or a glass of wine with his friends.

I know every little girl thinks their father is the best dad ever---but mine truly was. He was the kind of father who played the guitar and sang silly songs to us, who made homemade fudge on Christmas Eve and the best pizza ever. He told the silliest tall tales. He once got his then 3 year old granddaughter to watch an entire Red Sox game by telling her the catcher was Barney the Dinosaur. Those of you who knew him well knew he had an innate ability to tell a story. He could take a 5 second story and make it last 5 minutes, with his arms going and all kinds of expression in those kind blue eyes of his. We'd all smile and roll our eyes, grandchildren included. This morning, I asked my daughter, Delaney, "what's something silly you remember about Poppy?" and without hesitation she said "remember how Poppy would always pretend he was missing a finger and he would tell me that a turtle bit it off?" I'm going to miss those stories.

We can't forget his sense of humor, which we saw glimpses of, right up until the end, even though he didn't have much to smile about. For example, 2 days before he passed away I sat and did a crossword puzzle with him. I said to him "horse blank, 4 letters". He held up his hand and put up four fingers, one by one and said "crap". So Dad.

The other night my 8 year old son, Carter, came to me and sat on my lap and cried and said "why did God have to take Poppy?" and as I searched for something to tell him, to help his broken heart feel better, I felt a sense of peace as these words came out of my mouth, because I knew, in my heart, it was true.......

"God loves Poppy so much that he took him home to be with him. Poppy tried to get better, to come back to us, to be with us but he was just too sick. He's in a better place now and he's happy and I know he's looking down on us. He'll always be with us in our hearts and minds but we're sure going to miss him being here with us."

My wonderful friend Jan sketched this portrait of my father for me. I will treasure it always. Thank you Jan!

**click on photo to view it larger

The arrangements........

You can read a full obituary in tomorrows Burlington Free Press.

Visiting hours will be on Friday, September 4th from 4-7 p.m. at the Mountain View Funeral Home on Pinecrest Drive in Essex.

A mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated on Saturday, September 5th at 11 a.m. in Holy Cross Church in Colchester. Burial will immediately follow.

In lieu of flowers we would like donations to go to the Youth Center at Holy Cross Church.

Homesick

sent to me by a friend. thank you. it's perfect xo

Finally Home

My Dad passed away at 2:45 this morning surrounded by all of us. We are going to miss him so much but we know he is whole again, no more suffering, no more pain.I'm certain he is out for a nice long walk right now w/ his father---who is showing him around heaven.

We are making arrangements and I will post them later.

Xo