Sunday, September 6, 2009

.The Service.

My fathers funeral was yesterday. It was a beautiful service and a beautiful day and a wonderful celebration of my fathers life. It was also one of the hardest days of my life.

A few weeks ago I found, online, this story about a dragonfly. I read it and tucked it away. When my father passed, my mother said "I just wish he could give me a sign that he's okay......why can't he do that?" and I instantly thought of the dragonfly story and said "I know why......" and I read it to her. At that moment, I knew I had to include it on the programs for the Church Service. Here is the story....

**double click on image to view larger

After I decided to use that story I was seeing dragonfly's everywhere I turned. Flying around me at the Church the day we made service arrangements, I drove by "Dragonfly Cafe" where there was a big dragonfly on the side of the building and when I came home I saw Delaney's pink bike helmet in the garage that has dragonfly's all over it. I took it as a sign that my father's soul had made it's journey to Heaven and he was letting us know he was okay. Then at the service when Deacon Hawk did the Homily I was touched to hear him use the story and build upon it. At the cemetery, as we gathered around for final prayers and goodbye, a dragonfly came, flitted around, landed and hung out on the flowers atop my father's casket. That dragonfly stayed the entire time we were out there.

The Eulogy I gave my father, it's short but I was asked to keep it 3-5 minutes long by the Catholic Chruch:

If my father were here today, he'd say "look at this beautiful day God has given us" because that's how he started his day, whether it was 20 below or warm and sunny. Today, is the perfect kind of day to celebrate his life. Thank you all for coming.

I remember when my Grandfather passed away and my father was preparing his eulogy. He was so nervous about getting up in front of everyone and wondered if he'd make it through it without breaking down. Today, I completely understand how he was feeling. Like father like daughter with the fear of public speaking.

The fact that you're here means my father has touched your life in some way and I know I don't need to tell you what a wonderful man he was or how much he loved his wife and best friend of 40 years, his children, his grandchildren and the rest of his family, the Red Sox, Sunny days, a walk on the causeway or a glass of wine with his friends.

I know every little girl thinks their father is the best dad ever---but mine truly was. He was the kind of father who played the guitar and sang silly songs to us, who made homemade fudge on Christmas Eve and the best pizza ever. He told the silliest tall tales. He once got his then 3 year old granddaughter to watch an entire Red Sox game by telling her the catcher was Barney the Dinosaur. Those of you who knew him well knew he had an innate ability to tell a story. He could take a 5 second story and make it last 5 minutes, with his arms going and all kinds of expression in those kind blue eyes of his. We'd all smile and roll our eyes, grandchildren included. This morning, I asked my daughter, Delaney, "what's something silly you remember about Poppy?" and without hesitation she said "remember how Poppy would always pretend he was missing a finger and he would tell me that a turtle bit it off?" I'm going to miss those stories.

We can't forget his sense of humor, which we saw glimpses of, right up until the end, even though he didn't have much to smile about. For example, 2 days before he passed away I sat and did a crossword puzzle with him. I said to him "horse blank, 4 letters". He held up his hand and put up four fingers, one by one and said "crap". So Dad.

The other night my 8 year old son, Carter, came to me and sat on my lap and cried and said "why did God have to take Poppy?" and as I searched for something to tell him, to help his broken heart feel better, I felt a sense of peace as these words came out of my mouth, because I knew, in my heart, it was true.......

"God loves Poppy so much that he took him home to be with him. Poppy tried to get better, to come back to us, to be with us but he was just too sick. He's in a better place now and he's happy and I know he's looking down on us. He'll always be with us in our hearts and minds but we're sure going to miss him being here with us."

My wonderful friend Jan sketched this portrait of my father for me. I will treasure it always. Thank you Jan!

**click on photo to view it larger

14 comments:

  1. Dear Lisa,

    i don't know you and I just one of your mum's many Flirck"s contacts living in France. Since I've learnt about your dad's accident, I've regularly checked this blog and your mum's photos and praying for your dad and all your family.
    I am ever so convinced that the service was beautiful and so full of love. Your dad was someone wonderful and the love that ties you all is terrific and he will be dearly missed but I'm sure that from above he will be looking after you.

    The coincidence of this dragonfly story is so surprising but so fitted for the occasion.

    I'm sending you, your mum and all your family prayers to find strength for the days and weeks to come as I know they won't be easy.

    Stéphanie (Baloochester on Flickr)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lisa,

    You have been amazing! All of the arrangements that you made were perfect: A well-written obituary, a beautiful slide show with such powerful and fitting music to accompany it, gorgeous flower arrangements, designing a sentimental program with the very touching dragonfly story, and a heartfelt eulogy (as well as many other details to which to tend). You did it, sweetie, and I am so proud of you. Your dad is proud of you, too. He knows how much you did for him while in the hospital and then after with all of the arrangements. Time to relax now......and grieve. I'm here for you.

    I love you,
    Jan

    ReplyDelete
  3. This was so touching. I am crying tears for all of you. You, your Mom and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

    My deepest condolences, Cheryl (cher12861 from Flickr)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lisa, once again, thank you for updating your blog. You and your family have continued to witness to others, primarily by your reliance on your faith to sustain you, which is a very fitting tribute to your father.

    The Lord bless you and keep you;
    The Lord make his face shine upon you
    and be gracious to you;
    The Lord look upon you with favor
    and give you peace.

    ReplyDelete
  5. thank you for this updating..
    may he rest in peace
    and God loves him more..

    love
    ari

    ps.
    me too not that well at this moment.
    my regards to sherry.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lisa -

    You are such a class act. Really. What a fitting tribute to your father and a wonderful way to close this blog. I know the outcome is not what anyone would have wished for, but he is in a comfortable place and, as evidenced by the dragonflies, he is everywhere around you still. You made your father proud, for sure, with your strength and attention to all the details right until the end. He was a lucky man to call you his daughter.

    Love, Rhonda

    (can you tell from my e-mail and blog comments that I can't stop thinking of you today?)

    ReplyDelete
  7. God bless you, Lisa, Sherry...and the rest of the family. I pray for healing and peace within your hearts.

    I saw the movie "UP" yesterday and it made me think of Sherry...as she starts her new adventure. I know it's scary and new and not exactly what was envisioned, but God has her hand, and I know there will be dragonflies along the way to make her smile.

    Blessings,

    Jill :]

    ReplyDelete
  8. God bless you and your family, Your blog gave me the chance to learn a little about your father, I feel like he was a friend even though I never met him. Your words were exquisite.

    I know I will never meet you or your mother, but I have grown to love you both. I can only say that you are in my thoughts and prayers, I wish the best for your family. Your father will be waiting for you to join him someday. I hope to see you in heaven and feel like I will recognize each of you. May God richly bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. TIME my friend. . .I came back again and read this again today. I know God called your dad home for a reason and I'm so happy to know he's in heaven. xoxo Kristin

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dearest Lisa and family,
    I was away over the time period of your father's funeral and have come home to find this wonderfully touching blog entry...nothing less than magnificent. You are one strong lady, loving daughter, mother and I am sure wife. My heart goes out to you for all that you have been through and your sweet mother is always on my heart. All that you wrote in your father's honor was beautiful, I am sure the slide presentation was heartwrenching for those watching it, I have no doubt the tears were flowing!
    I agree with your friend Jan above, now is time to allow yourself the healing process of grieving. It seems strange to say that weeping is healing but it is... I am always touched by the scripture of Jesus having wept at the loss of his friend showing us it truly is normal and the thing to do.
    Yesterday would have been my sister's 52 birthday and I will always think of your father now when I think of her which is every day! May they rest in peace....
    Please convey to your friend Jan as well how amazing I think her portrait of your Dad is..so real...such a beautiful gift! One to treasure for all time.
    Hugs, sweet Lisa, thank you for sharing this journey with those of us who know and love your mother and allowing us to come to know you as well..we have all shared the ups and downs, shed the tears, and felt the heartache with you. Thank you for being you...and I know I don't have to ask, but take good care of your Mom, she needs you all more than ever now! Hugs to you both!
    Peace and prayer, L.R. ♥

    ReplyDelete
  11. What a beautiful service for Kraig. Lisa I am amazed at the dragonfly story. I very much liked it, I know Kraig did too as he was giving all of you signs that he had made it to heaven. I want to thank you for keeping us posted, you all must be exhausted and I know the grieving will be starting to get harder on days but better on others.
    Please please rest now is the time for family time. You are an angel Lisa.
    God Bless you and your family and your mother, Sherry. I really am praying for her. I don't want her to feel like a lost soul, things will take time but everything will fall into place as she continues her journey here on earth. I know she thanks God that he gave her and Kraig so many beautiful and loving years together along with many precious memories with the family.
    Sherry I'm here for you if you ever want to talk, If you ever would like for me to read a scripture to you, if you ever doubt Faith. I love you
    God bless you and your family xox
    Skyler

    ReplyDelete
  12. Lisa, I have been so out of touch and apologize for my delayed response to your blog post. Both the dragonfly story and your eulogy are simply beautiful. Peace to you and your family!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Lisa,
    I have been a friend of your mothers for more years than you can imagine ( your dad's too). I was one of the bridesmaids at their wedding. This blog was a wonderful idea and beutifully done. Your father would be so proud. I know your mother is. My heart goes out to your whole family. Losing someone you love so much is so hard. Time will ease the pain but missing your father will never go away. Talk about him often and keep him in your heart forever.
    Cindy Dodge

    ReplyDelete
  14. This post about the dragonflys made me smile. I have been seeing butterflies everywhere this year. Every time I go for a drive, one flies in front of me. When I go for walks, they fly around me. One flew over my head and landed on a beautiful blue flower bush right in front of me and let me take a couple of pics which is highly unusual for me. I feel like it is the sign I have been looking for and is somehow related to my brother who passed a couple of years ago and letting me know that he is alright. The circumstances surrounding his death were pretty horrible and I have been searching for peace on this.

    Hoping you are still seeing dragonflies and are somehow at peace.

    Cheryl (cher12861 at flickr)

    ReplyDelete