I spent some time w/ Dad yesterday. Whenever I put a magazine or anything else w/ text in front of his face it seems as though he's reading it. I know he needs reading glasses normally and who knows how his vision is now. So I wrote his name, large, on a piece of paper and held it up to him and asked him what it said. He said "Kraig". Then I made a happy face and a sad face and asked him to point to how he was feeling. He pointed to the sad face, of course. Then I gave him the pen, which he held as he should, and he put a circle w/ a line through it on the happy face. While that broke my heart, I was elated to know that he's reading and comprehending, which is amazing!!!! Father, from my Dad's Church visited and when we all said the "Our Father" he joined in with us and blessed himself at the end of it. I can't tell you how happy I was to see that his faith is STILL strong and that he's still praying. That said, he's so ANGRY now. Which we've expected and been waiting for and quite honestly, I am relieved to see some anger from him. I keep reassuring him that it's okay, it's part of the process, that we understand, that we aren't taking it personally and that we won't go away, no.matter.what! I can't pretend, for one second, that I know what it feels like to be him right now. I imagine he's thinking, at this point, that the alternative may have been better. I know in time he'll feel differently. I can't wait for him to get to rehab and to be able to get outside and feel the sunshine on his face, smell the fresh air, see the blue sky, the trees, hear the birds.......something other than those hospital walls and ceiling. This will give him more reason to fight and work hard.
Continue to pray for his respiratory health and that they get him over to rehab this week. He needs that so badly right now. Please pray that he will be strengthened to endure and not give up.
In reading to my Dad I came across the following---which I found meaningful.
Psalm 116:8-9 "For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the LORD
in the land of the living."
Psalm 118:17
"He will not die, but live and declare the works of the Lord."
So glad progress is in the making. Hoping to get to hospital this week or even better Fanny Allen Rehab! Can't wait to see my Merlot Man so I can argue religion with him!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLove you guys.....keep strong!
Wonderful news on the progress of your dad. Your scriptures are so perfect.
ReplyDeleteYippppppeeeeeeee!!!!!! I am just so blessed to be able to be part of this journey with all of you and watch the goodness and love of God and for the faith, strength and undying love all of you have!! More and more miralces!!
ReplyDeleteCouldn't have said this all better myself. Amen...amen. I know Dad is still praying in there...and I keep telling him God is good and he agrees. He wanted me to read to him from the bible yesterday, but five minutes into it, he fell asleep. Think that he likes your reading better. Lol...what a wonderful few days God has given us..such slow and steady progress for the last two weeks...and now...faster...and faster. I am so excited for him to start rehab...and get out of the hospital after two long months. I hope that his spirit is renewed and his mind and body refreshed ....we have a long road ahead...but we're all up for it. Dad needs us now...and we're there for him. Lisa...you..and Rick and Heather (even Marc) have shown amazing strength and courage throughout this battle...and I guess...so have I. Even though I do NOT think of myself as a stong person. So many friends...clergy...even strangers praying for dad and for us...amazing grace. How can I feel so blessed...given the events of the last two months. Remeber how when our faith was shaking...(which thank God we never did lose or give up) we talked about how could anything positive possibly come out of this situation...so many good things have. Anyway, I love the scriptures...and the first one is the one that opened at my feet the night they said dad may die...the first surgery. I saved the booklet. We need to make him a scrap book of his journey. I love you...you are doing an amazing job with this journal. Such good news about the rehab....we can continue Kraig's journey home. To all of us who love him so.
ReplyDeleteLisa, I actually came and read these last night but found it too overwhelming to write..I cannot believe how much my heart is with you all...feeling your sorrows, fears and now your joys!! There are times when things such as this happens and it strains family relationships but reading your mother's words above and feeling your bonds tells me your Dad is so blessed, so loved that it ties you all together in such a way that he can't fail. He will be stronger than strong again. As you said yourself, this time of anger and frustration for him is so normal to the healing process...and more so I think for men, the creation that wants to fix everything and make it right and do it now! You are so wise to tell him you all understand and know that it is not personal. This time will pass as he channels his frustrations in to hard work. Then he will be fatigued in a good way from all he is achieving! No doubts!
ReplyDeleteYour father is blessed to have you all in his lives...I feel honored to "know" you!
Peace and prayers, L.R.