July 5th was my parents wedding anniversary. Needless to say, it was an extra difficult day for my mother. He was supposed to have been released from the hospital on July 4th. I assured her they would have "their day" in the future.
It was by far one of the saddest days of my life. He asked the doctor the day before the procedure (Johnson) if he'd be home by Sunday. (July 5th). The doctor said probably he'd go home on July 4th...he could watch the fireworks~ He said, "Good!" "It's out anniversary, and I want to dance with my bride." God! What I wouldn't give to hear his voice. Of all the years we've been together...and even in the times we were apart..I talked to him. 10 days without hearing his voice. I miss my friend.
How very very sad...as I sit here tonite..unable to sleep...thinking of the love of my life...gone forever, but not forgeotten. Going through the blog..that we so had hoped he'd read someday...I never got that dance...we never got that "day" in the future. My heart is broken. Why...a million times why..but I keep hearing your dad's voice saying that ...it's not ours to question. I went to the cemetery tonite...telling him that Dice K was activated..and that I loved him...and could he see me ..and did he know how I was grieving...and could he see the lovely sunset. Lots of dark clouds...and yellow. I looked up...at the streaks of pink...and saw the most perfect and beautiful "pink" angel. A message from him...and Heaven? God...how I need a sign that he's ok...and at peace. Will we ever get it?
It was by far one of the saddest days of my life. He asked the doctor the day before the procedure (Johnson) if he'd be home by Sunday. (July 5th). The doctor said probably he'd go home on July 4th...he could watch the fireworks~ He said, "Good!" "It's out anniversary, and I want to dance with my bride." God! What I wouldn't give to hear his voice. Of all the years we've been together...and even in the times we were apart..I talked to him. 10 days without hearing his voice. I miss my friend.
ReplyDeleteHow very very sad...as I sit here tonite..unable to sleep...thinking of the love of my life...gone forever, but not forgeotten. Going through the blog..that we so had hoped he'd read someday...I never got that dance...we never got that "day" in the future. My heart is broken. Why...a million times why..but I keep hearing your dad's voice saying that ...it's not ours to question. I went to the cemetery tonite...telling him that Dice K was activated..and that I loved him...and could he see me ..and did he know how I was grieving...and could he see the lovely sunset. Lots of dark clouds...and yellow. I looked up...at the streaks of pink...and saw the most perfect and beautiful "pink" angel. A message from him...and Heaven? God...how I need a sign that he's ok...and at peace. Will we ever get it?
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