Dreaming

I had a dream this morning
It was about my Dad
In the dream he was whole again
Healthy, smiling, laughing, walking
Talking about his journey
How he could hear all of us
Talking to him, praying w/ him
How thankful he was that we never gave up

I awoke from the dream with a kiss goodbye from my husband who was leaving for work. I told him about it immediately, he said "that's a really nice dream" and hugged me. Rick has always had a lot of respect for my father....for how hard he works and the person he is. I'm so thankful for Rick's support through all of this. He really has been a rock for all of us. He is visiting my Dad as I type.
Rick and my Dad on our wedding day. I can't believe it's been 11 years!

July 29

Sorry I haven't update in a few days. We have finally had a bit of summer and the kids are demanding pool, beach and boat time. I've still been up to the hospital every day to visit w/ my father. Haven't missed a day yet.

Monday they moved him to a private room which is nice for us, definitely more privacy but we're a little nervous that he isn't hooked up to any monitors anymore and doesn't have someone sitting in the room w/ him anymore, as he's still needing frequent suctioning. He still has a lot of junk in his lungs. Praying real hard for those to clear up so he can have that trach removed.

I think he's doing well! At this point he is fever and infection free. He really looks like himself again and he is finally getting some quality rest. Yesterday he was awake most of the day. The Doctors are saying that he still isn't doing anything purposeful and mention the phrase "vegetative state" more frequently than we care to hear. He may not do purposeful things for them but he really does for us. I'm keeping an open mind that things could go either way but I'm not ready to give up on him yet. It's still too soon. After all, it's only been 15 days since he came out of his "coma" and opened his eyes. Yesterday they did another EEG but we are awaiting the results. I am about to head up so I will update later.

Peace.Love.Pray!

My dad and his boy "Milo". Milo really misses his Daddy too. Milo and his sister Mitzi got up every morning, bright and early w/ my Dad and he fed them and played w/ them.

Held

I heard this yesterday and think it's such a beautiful song. The chorus moved me......I can't stop listening to it.

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

Third times a charm?

So yesterday they moved my dad out of ICU and back to the same bed on the 6th floor. Let's try this again? He's still receiving the heprin and the latest MRI shows no change either way within his brain. Outwardly, you can see the swelling is starting to go down. The area with the bone flap is starting to sink in---which is a good thing.

Still hanging w/ him, talking to him, reading the paper and the bible. It's all I can do at this point---and pray. I hope we see some changes soon.

The social worker is bugging us about nursing homes for sub acute rehab. We feel like they are trying to rush him out of there. I let them all have it yesterday and told them he would NOT be going anywhere until he was truly ready. This hospital is driving me crazy.


















l to r: Kraig, Jill, Me, Carter, Delaney, Rick, Sherry, Deven
*click to view larger

This one made me smile!

He does love his Red Sox shirts.


Click on photo to view it larger.

July 21st

Yesterday the plan was to give Dad a spinal tap and take about 10% of his spinal fluid in hopes of temporarily reducing the size of the fluid filled ventricles in his brain in hopes of seeing him come around a bit more and also to look for infection. The first attempt at the spinal tap was done in his room. They tried 3 times w/out success. He has had back problems most of his adult life and apparently has some arthritis there as well as a degenerative disc problem. SO they ended up having radiology do the spinal tap w/ guidance. They were successful. We don't know if there is any infection yet and, unfortunately, we did not see any change in his neurological status either. They say he does not do any "purposeful" things or follow commands. I have some him do some of each but not consistently. I do feel like he has his moments when he is "there" and in those moments all I see on his face are sadness and fear.

This morning they decided to start him on a heparin drip. They feel the risk of the clots are greater at this point than the risk of a bleed (which they don't anticipate happening). They are checking his blood every few hours to make sure things are okay. I believe they will do another CT tomorrow to check for any changes in his brain and lungs.

They are really stumped as to why he is not neurologically doing more and why he's not following commands. According to his CT he should be showing improvement. At the very least they feel like he should be talking a bit, following commands consistently and moving that right side a lot more. A secondary infection or something would cause delay but so far they have not found one. Perhaps he just needs more time? I don't know. Only time will tell. I hate to feel the way I do, frustrated, hopeless, angry.......but I'm only human. I think we all are starting to feel this way. It is so hard, day after day after day, to see him lying there, terrified and trapped in his body.

My faith is being tested for sure........I'm digging deep!

The Dash

A dear friend of mine sent this link to me a few weeks back. I'm sure she wouldn't mind me sharing her words w/ you---

There is a poem/movie on-line called "The Dash" (click for link). It was sent to me when my brother passed and helped to remind me how life should be lived. From all that I read in this blog and from talking to you, it sounds like your dad already lives life to the fullest, as this poem reminds us to do. For all of you who haven't read/seen The Dash, I'd take the time to do so. Turn up the volume...beautiful music accompanies each verse as well as gorgeous photos of nature. Your dad is going to pull through this, Lisa, and continue to live life as this poem intends.

I watched this and was moved by it. It really does remind us what is important in life and how you just never know what's going to happen in life. I have gone back to it a few times to watch it again. My friend was right about my Dad already living life to the fullest and I know he is proud of his dash thus far. I know every daughter will say their father is a good man but I really truly mean it when I say my father is a good man. Anybody who knows my father will tell you that. He doesn't care about the materialistic things in life. He never asks for anything from anyone. He has done so many GOOD KIND UNSELFISH things in his life. He doesn't deserve this. I hope he's not suffering.

My Dad and Carter

On Thanksgiving.........
Carter really can play Chess. He's pretty good at it! He had to remind Poppy of some of the "rules", lol.


click on photo to view larger!

July 20th

I was too tired to update last night.......12 hours at the hospital takes everything out of you.

My dad had a major set back yesterday. I had told my mom to take the morning off so I arrived to find him having trouble breathing. The respiratory therapists were w/ him. His heart rate was 92 and his respiration, which had been 30, was at 45. I held his hand for 40 minutes while they worked on him. I have never, in my whole life, been so afraid.

When they stabilized him they took him down for a CT of his head and lungs. The Neurosurgeon resident that we've been dealing with, who I don't care for at all, said he'd be come back w/ the results right away. After an hour and 1/2 a medical student, who's been wonderful to us through all of this, said he'd go find him. So, said Neurosurgeon comes back w/ a mouth full of food apologizing for the delay and saying that his blood sugar was low and he had to eat something (OMG) and then w/ a mouth full of food says "anyway, Kraig has had a pulmonary embolism!". Turns out he had a blood clot in each lung and the ultrasound showed a DVT (deep vein thrombosis--blood clot) in his left leg that was on the move. They made the decision to put a filter in his Vena Cava to stop the other clot from moving. Normally they would give heprin in this situation but b/c of the brain bleed, they can't. The Dr. yesterday said this could cause his death (the PE). It's serious but we're praying!!!!!!!

On a positive note---the CT we saw yesterday showed that the bleed is considerably smaller and that the left side of the brain looks unaffected. The neurosurgeon felt hopeful b/c he said this is the side of the brain that does all the cognitive thinking, speech, etc. BUT his ventricles are swollen and he has a little hydrocephalus. If he requires more drainage they will need to drain from his spine as they took the drain out of his head a few days ago (too prematurely if you ask me and I questioned it when they did it). He feels like his progess has been slow b/c of all these secondary infections/problems. If my dad can get over this latest hurdle.......I think he'll start to see progess.

I just checked in w/ the hospital to see how his night was. She said it was good. There is no evidence of the clots moving. We just need to wait and pray and hope the clots are absorbed.

PRAY!

My Dad the chef.........

Ask anybody who's tried it,
my Dad makes,
hands down,
the BEST pizza EVER!
It's been a while since I've had it.
We used to tell him that he needed to open a pizza joint and name it "Poppy's Pizza".
Apparently he made it like a week before his stroke.
I didn't get to have any.
I hope I get to have some again.

And cinnamon rolls.........
oooey, gooey perfection.
I used to love to watch him make them.
He'd flour up the counter and spread the dough,
butter it up, roll it, stretch it, sprinkle it.......
I can smell them now.
Brings me back to a late Sunday afternoon winter as a kid.

He used to make us breakfast for dinner.
We always loved that.
He'd make fried dough sometimes.
Other times he would wrap those little smokies in dough......
we'd have them w/ maple syrup.

And spaghetti w/ pepperoni in the sauce.......
and eggs benedict........
homemade french fries
and homemade fudge on Christmas Eve..........
slightly burnt toll house cookies (every time)
and there was lots and lots of Jiffy Pop on the stove top too.

My sister sent this to me today......her and Dad!

July 19th

Yesterday they moved my father out of ICU and guess where they put him? Right back where he started from, before all this nonsense happened, on the 6th floor, in the same room, in the same bed. Perhaps this a good sign and a 2nd chance at things. Now his physical therapy can start and he can begin his long road to recovery. It will be nice to not have him behind locked doors and that means no more picking up the phone to get permission to come in.

As I mentioned in my last post, things are moving slowly. My Dad definitely has those moments when he is "there". In those moments it's so wonderful and heartbreaking to see him. I just sit there and think does he know what's going on? Is he afraid? Is he in pain? Does he know us? And then I think if he does know what's going on---that this is his worst nightmare come true (as I mentioned earlier, his grandfather had a stroke at 62 and was paralyzed), even if just temporarily. His lungs are so full of junk and it's so painful to sit there and watch him cough, or worse yet, be suctioned. I have been praying for clear lungs so they can take that trach out.

A great friend of mine said it best in a comment--that this is the kind of test that none of us ever want to face but eventually all of us will and that faith of all kinds is what will get us through these tough times. He is so right. I continue to ask God for strength for all of us. I know that NOW is when the really tough part starts and when Dad is going to need us the most. I intend to be right there by his side. Whatever he needs...........

July 17th

I may not post as frequently now as there is not much new to report. We are told progress will be slow and we really won't know the extent of damage until he fully wakes up. We are trying so hard not to lose faith and praying for strength. It's so hard for all of us to see him the way he is right now. He does some purposeful things but it's not consistent or constant. Time.......he needs lots of time. Continue to pray and I will continue to keep you updated when something new happens.

Never Alone

I heard this song on the way home from the hospital the other night. It made me smile, it made me cry. I thought of my mom, my dad, my sister, brother, my husband, my kids.........and the rest of my family. I just wanted to tell you guys that you're never alone. No matter what happens--I'm always here for you and I love you. Life can change in the blink of an eye.

Today is my sons 8th birthday! It's bittersweet. We are big on birthdays around here and always get together to celebrate each and every persons. My father will be missed today. He sings happy birthday really "silly" and makes Carter laugh. He would love the chocolate cake w/ chocolate frosting that I made.

Happy birthday to my big little man. He so reminds me of my dad in so many ways. I've always said that (my mother in-law has always said so too)! From the way he bites his lip w/ his upper teeth to his engineer wired brain!

July 15th

Today I woke up to the sun shining and a smile on my face. I thought, once again, of my Dad saying "look at this beautiful day that God has given us". My mom came over and we went up to the hospital together.

We arrived to find my Dad sleeping but he soon woke up and opened those beautiful blue eyes for us. When I say opened his eyes--think newborn baby. They are only 1/2 open and not for long periods of time. You can tell the light bothers him and he is not moving his eyeballs around. Just opening them and blinking. I do believe he sees us and recognizes us though (probably through a vaseline induced haze)---we'll say, for example, "dad you know mom is here right? blink your eyes if you do...." and he does and he'll hold his hand out for her. Today he kept bringing his hand to his head and using his fingers to "trace" the staples. It's a big cut and he knows it's there. I can only imagine what it feels like to him. He seemed confused and definitely afraid. so I spent a lot of time giving him an abbreviated version of what happened and reassuring him that he was okay and that there were things he couldn't do right now that were to be expected for where he is in his recovery. We talked to him, I read to him and eventually he dozed off. It's so hard to leave him when he keeps holding his hand out to you.

This morning they clamped the drain in his brain........he did great all day w/ it clamped. In the past when they did this his blood pressure would go really high but today it remained low. Tonight they completely removed the drain! The more things they get out of him the better, they said.

He's moving his right side so well. You can see him testing things out. My Dad is an engineer and you can just see his mind at work. Move the foot at the ankle, wiggle the toes, spread the toes, bend the knee, lift the leg......move on to the arm....so far the only thing he hasn't moved is his left arm (although I've seen his left shoulder move and he is trying to move that arm---I say he does it eventually). YES--- he moved his left leg today all on his own.

Another day of progress. We'll take it. I'll say it again, God is good and he hears every single one of your prayers!! My entire family thanks you for all your love, prayers, thoughts and comments.

July 14th

Today started out as a bad day for all us. Just feeling lost and sad. Trying to hang on to that last bit of hope. My mom was with my dad all day today and he was pretty mellow, no movement or anything, just deep sleep. Deep sleep and a fever. They drew blood, did a chest x ray and an urinalysis. Pneumonia? Kidney infection? Staff infection? Nothing? Only time will tell.

I didn't get to go to the hospital earlier today b/c I didn't have anyone to stay w/ the kids. So I went up later in the evening. I got there around 6:15 and was discouraged. I sat and cried. Pulled it together and read to him from his bible. Closed the bible and started talking to him---about everything, the kids, the weather, his brother who is coming to see him Friday from Texas and all of a sudden up goes his right arm and it's heading right towards his staples on his head. So I grab his hand and hold it. Then I look at his face and I can see blue from his left eye (he has the prettiest blue eyes). "Dad are you trying to open your eyes?" my heart was pounding. And sure enough, little by little he opened that eye about 1/2 way and his right eye a bit too. This went on for 20 minutes. He was trying to talk too but I told him "you can't talk right now so don't try". He was moving that right side all around. When I asked him to move his toes he would. I told him that he had vaseline on his eyes so if things were blurry that was why. He kept bringing that hand up to his head and it never dawned on me that he might be in pain. The nurse said "Kraig, blink your eyes if you are in pain" and blink he did. So she gave him something and out he went. God love him.

My mother and sister went up later and rounded the corner to see him lying there scratching his head w/ his eyes 1/2 open again. He appeared to know who they were and did much of the same things w/ them as he had w/ me earlier. When the nurse asked him if they were being loud he shook his head no. He keeps touching his head, he seems confused so my mom and the nurse were trying to give him an abbreviated version of what happened. Obviously he's still very out of it and still coming around.

There really are no words to express our happiness right now. We're taking it day by day and today, was a good day. Today, God sent us a reminder to not lose faith.

Praise God and you all you wonderful people who are praying for my Dad!

My Dad the Entertainer

Just felt like sharing this! when I think of my childhood---I always think of this.

my Dad played the guitar for us.
we would all pile onto my parents bed.
and jump around and be crazy.
he never told us to sit still.
he was good at it.
he enjoyed it.
we loved it.
he could sing too.
grandma's feather bed by john denver was one of our favorites.
anything by John Denver really.
bad bad leroy brown by jim croche was one of his.
when we "outgrew" his music choices
he tried to learn songs from "Grease" until his fingers were raw.
if that's not love---I don't know what is.

P.S.
there was also a song about chasing women.
we loved it.
we still know it by heart <3
i've never heard anyone but my dad sing it.
hearing the song now i realize
he sang it just perfectly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6Uq5VHGuPA

July 13th

I made it to the hospital at 8:30 a.m. only to find out that the nuero team had been in at 6 a.m. Sigh. So I sat w/ my Dad for awhile, read to him and told him about the Red Sox Game last night and how the tooth fairy ALMOST forgot to leave money for my son (I saw his tooth "box" sitting on the counter as I walked out the door and ran upstairs to put the money under his pillow---if any of you still believe in the tooth fairy and I ruined it for you---I'm sorry) and other small talk. He was moving his right side quite a bit while I talked w/ him.

The Nuerosurgeon did make his way to the waiting room where he spoke w/ us (my mom, my sister and I). The results from the EEG and the other neurological tests done last Friday looked good. The side of the brain w/out the bleed responds as it should while, obviously, the side w/ the bleed is weaker. That could be due to the swelling. Only time will tell. The ICP variance is due to the drain. When they clamp it off his pressure goes up--so he is not ready for that to come out yet. He said he is still critical as long as he has that swelling and the drain. It could still go either way. He said his movements are spontaneous and he doesn't follow commands. However, he did follow commands later in the day. The nurse would say "Kraig, move your toes" and he would. He's been very active today. Still not awake........but I'd say this is more progress and another step forward.

God is good!

Today marks 2 weeks that my father has been away from us. To say we miss him is an understatement.

July 12th

Not much to report. My father had a quiet, uneventful day. His ICP was higher and he wasn't as active, although, he seems to be resting so peacefully and I even heard him snoring at some point. I'm telling myself he's tired out from yesterday and he needed the rest. Plus, it's Sunday--- a day of rest. 1 step forward and 2 steps back. I feel like tomorrow he will take a step forward again.

Tomorrow, we plan on being at the hospital, in his room, at 8:30 a.m. Neurosurgeons BEWARE! You'll not get by me w/out answering a laundry list of questions I have compiled for you. It's time for some answers.

More then.............

I Wish you Enough

I was just cleaning up my inbox and came across a bunch of e mails that my father had sent me. When I found this particular one, sent about a week before his stroke I sat and cried. I hope I can see his blue eyes again and laugh with him again. He has the best sense of humor.

It was about a father and daughter at an airport and when the daughter boarded the plane the father said "I wish you enough" and the daughter said "I wish you enough too Dad and I love you." A stranger asks the father what that means and he says "I am old and sick and this may be the last time we see each other. When we said, 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them."

He then recited the following:

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

July 11

So I woke up this morning to a phone call from my sister. She was wondering if I had checked in w/ the hospital yet---something I do every morning to see how my fathers night was and then I report to her and my mom---it's hard for my mom to make that call. So I got up while the house was still quiet and came downstairs with my husband. He had opened the door to the side porch so we stepped outside. It was one of those perfect summer mornings, temperature was just right, nice breeze, birds chirping, sun (FINALLY) shining and it smelled so good out there. It was the kind of morning that made me wish I drank coffee and read the newspaper so I could sit out there and do just that. Then I thought of my dad and how he'd love to do that and then I thought of something my mom told me he said every morning to her---be it 20 below zero or raining.... "good morning--look at this beautiful day God has given us". I couldn't help but think it was going to be a good day!

The phone call to the hospital was good news. His nurse said he had a great night, he was moving his right arm a bit and that his ICP (brain pressure) was at 2. WHAT? Are you kidding me? Our visit today was good. Dare we say he's turned a small corner? We walked in to find him w/out a single tube on his face and looking much more relaxed and comfortable!!! He is still not awake but he is breathing completely on his own. Every once in a while he forgets (he has been on a ventilator for 9 days) and that's a bit scary but he gets it right back. He was lifting his right arm up and moving it, moving his big toe on his right foot, his shoulder and his head. Lots of swallowing, moving his mouth and steady breathing when I read to him from his bible again. His fever was down, his swelling near the bone flap was down, his blood pressure is still a bit high but much better than yesterday. No results from the neurological tests yet.

Let's hope and pray that this is the first of many good days on his road to recovery. We know it's going to be a really long road but we've all signed up for the ride.

Thanks again to all of you who are reading this and praying for him. Please, if you're reading, leave a comment. I know when my Dad is well he will love to read about his journey back to us and to see how many people were praying for him!

Also, thank you to all of you who are visiting us at the hospital. It means so much to the entire family. If you haven't stopped by but want to, please do. We'd love to see you. The waiting room gets lonely sometimes and the clock ticks slowly.

July 10

Today they put the trach and feeding tube in. Both procedures went well. My father seems much more comfortable w/out those tubes in his throat. We didn't get the full results from the EEG and the other tests BUT they did tell us that from the EEG they looked for seizure activity and found none--which is good. We are not anticipating any other results until Monday as it's the weekend-- but you never know. His blood pressure is still high and they seem to be having a hard time controlling it. He still has the fever too but his lungs still look good and so far the cultures don't show anything growing. No other changes. I will report again tomorrow. Today was a frustrating day. It's so hard to get answers from anybody at the hospital.

July 9th

Today was a long and stressful day. It started w/ a phone call to the ICU where they told me his blood pressure was still very high and had been throughout the night. The nurse said it would be a "busy" day. She told me he had been off the sedative Propofol for 24 hours and that may be the cause of the high blood pressure (I'm talking 180-185). They needed to keep him off sedation to do the EEG and the other tests. They only managed to get the EEG in today. Once they did that they put him back on the sedative a bit and when I left he was resting comfortably (or at least he appeared to be). His blood pressure was 135-150, his ICP (brain pressure was good) and he was calm.

They also managed to get a Cat Scan in today. The results of that were encouraging. The cortex looks good (this is the outer part of the brain that controls memory, attention, perceptual awareness, thought, language and consciousness). The bleed is already smaller in size and being reabsorbed by the brain. The ventricles have less fluid around them and have decreased in size. His overall ICP (brain pressure) is lower. Today he responded to pain everywhere except his left hand. That said, while this is encouraging, it doesn't necessarily mean anything. The results of the EEG will give them a better idea of what's going on, although, as I mentioned before, it's not 100%. Still watching his temperature and for a secondary infection. More tomorrow.

Thanks for all the continued thoughts and prayers, phone calls, text messages and Rhonda & Ali---thank you so much for dinner and dessert the last few nights. You have no idea how much that helps after a day at the hospital.

July 8th

He has been running a fever for a few days that tylenol controls but they don't know the source of the fever. They suspected pneumonia but yesterdays chest x ray came back clear. They did another one tonight. We will see the results of that tomorrow. They want all the tubes out of his nose and throat so they will do a temporary tracheotomy and put a feeding tube directly into his stomach. He is mostly breathing on his own but the vent is giving him a little "push".

Tomorrow they are going to do an EEG, some type of nerve stimilus test and a light test to help them determine what is going "upstairs". These tests aren't 100% but they hope they will give them some useful information.

Today, we personally felt like he was more "there" than previous days. His blood pressure went up while we were in the room talking to him, he moved his mouth a lot and had a few "coughing" episodes from the tubes. They say these things can just be reflexes but but today was the first time in 5 days we saw these things.

Tonight I can't sleep. His blood pressure was high when my mom & I left and his breathing was fast. They were drawing blood to make sure "nothing was growing" (ie; infection). Tonight, like every other night, I pray to God that he makes it! I pray for him, for all of us who are missing him and especially my mom.

My Father's Faith

About 7 years ago he felt something missing in his life. He found God. He initiated the RCIA process at the Catholic Church and made his confirmation at the Easter Vigil. His faith is strong. He teaches Religion and is very active in the Church. He is 100% sure of what's on the other side. His bible is in his hospital room with him, well loved, duct taped spine (my father loves duct tape and uses it on everything) hand written notes throughout and treasures and trinkets in between the pages. I have been reading his bible a loud to him when I get a chance b/c he likes to read it every morning (if you know of anything I should read to him, please leave a comment). We have been able to find some peace in his faith.

Catching up on the last few days.......

Obviously they have been extremely difficult and his condition is critical. They have no idea the extent of the injury to that area of the brain. They will only know when and if the swelling goes down. They have no idea how long that might take--- a week, 2 weeks a month? The neuro team turns his sedation off every morning to see what they get and it varies each day. They know his brain stem is functioning, they know he responds to pain, when his ICP (brain pressure) goes up they can bring it down by repositioning him which means he is feeling discomfort, he has a gag reflex, his pupils are the same size and respond to light, his breathing tubes adjetate the hell out of him----all positive things but they could mean nothing. His ICP fluctuates daily between 15 and 25. His blood pressure is relatively stable unless they move him a lot, bathe him, fuss w/his tubes......then he gets worked up. All the Cat Scans show nothing new since the initial bleed. That is also good news.

We are at the hospital constantly and visit him as much as we can. We talk to him, hold his hand, pray and gather strength from each other.

July 5th---Wedding Anniversary

July 5th was my parents wedding anniversary. Needless to say, it was an extra difficult day for my mother. He was supposed to have been released from the hospital on July 4th. I assured her they would have "their day" in the future.

July 4th--The Drain

On July 4th they called us at home and said they needed to put a drain and a monitor in his brain. It was a critical piece of his care that was missing. They had no idea what the ICP (pressure in the brain) was. Normally they would have put it in when they removed the piece of the skull but obviously they didn't b/c he was so critical. Today, he was only 2 days off the plavix (they like them to be off for 5 days before they do any surgery) so he ran a 20% risk of having a bleed on the "good" side of the brain. Yet, if they didn't put the drain in he ran the risk of the bleed getting larger and more damage being done. So we gave permission for the drain and the procedure went off without a hitch. They wanted to see his ICP below 20 and it was at 14 when they put it in. Earlier in the day when they brought his sedation down they did get some spontaneous movement from his right arm and leg and withdrawl from pain on the left side.

Emergency Surgery

So the Neurosurgeons took him away to remove part of his skull and told us it could take 2 to 4 hours depending on how things went. We held hands and prayed and cried and prayed some more. After 1 1/2 long hours they came back w/ a thumbs up that there had been no bleeding and things had gone well, that they would try to wake him in the morning and we would go from there. So we were hopeful---until we went in to see him and the nurse said worse case scenario he never wakes up and best case scenario he wakes up w/ some deficits, how big or small would have to wait and be seen. I can't even begin to tell you how terrified we were or how heart breaking it was to see him this way, breathing tubes, machines, cut, stapled, shaved (well not completely---but he had a mohawk he would not approve of).

The Bleed

While my Dad was still in the post op recovery room waiting for his room in ICU things took a turn for the worse. His blood pressure spiked and he was no longer responding. At this point they took him to CT to find he had a bleed in the area that was weakened by the stroke. They have no idea why the bleed happened but it did and it was sizeable and it was causing swelling. We were told that they would need to remove some of his skull to give the brain room to "swell". We were also told "if he bleeds when we do this, he dies". This was due to the fact that he had been on heparin for 3 days and plavix for 1.

July 2nd--Stent Surgery

On July 2nd at 1:30, my mother, my sister and I kissed him goodbye as they wheeled him away in his bed for this simple procedure and said we'd see him in a little bit. The Doctor said it would take 1 to 2 hours for the procedure. Turns out they didn't start until 3, finished at 4 and came out at 4:40 to let us know that everything had gone text book, better than they had hoped, he was awake, talking, responding and doing great. They were bringing him to ICU and if we went up we could see him there. Which we did, but after a while of waiting and being told his room wasn't ready yet my sister and I decided to head home to take care of our kids. My mom stayed, we planned on coming back later. At 6:00 I got an urgent call from my mom that I had to come back. Things had taken a drastic turn for the worse.

June 29th--- The Stroke

I started this blog for friends and family who want to follow my father's progress after his stroke on June 29th. My goal is to leave most of our emotions out of these updates and to not get too personal but to get to the point. I also thought when my father recovers----it will be a good journal for him to read.

So as I mentioned, my father had a stroke on June 29th. Thank God my mom was home and was quick to call 911. She saved his life. He was at the hospital within 1/2 hour of showing stroke symptoms. They were able to give him TPA (a clot busting drug) since it was within the 3 hour time frame. We watched in amazement as it worked it's magic right before our eyes (I wanted to add that his grandfather had this same stroke at 62 and his mother had the same stroke, although later in life). He spent the next few days in a room a step down from ICU. They found out that his carotid artery on the right side was open less than 1mm. They put him on heparin. My Dad's options were surgery to clean it out or a stent. He chose a stent. They decided to wait a few days to give him some time to recover a bit before the procedure. He was fine. The day he went in for surgery he was listed on his charts as "independent". Walking around, eating, writing, reading, talking, laughing, etc......no symptoms from the stroke other than some weakness.